That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he fucked my hip out of place.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
