Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
