i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
