It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
