How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
