Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
you made out with another girl for some wings
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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