I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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