i need an iv and a liver transplant
i barfeds in our rink
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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