Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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