but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
