Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You're like the curious george of whores
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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