She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
