I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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