my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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