just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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