Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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