Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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