The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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