guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
