Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize