escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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