So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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