so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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