the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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