i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
