he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
