Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
