4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
