i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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