I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i drank out of a bidet.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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