i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
