I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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