i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
