when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
