It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
