i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So vagazzling was a success
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
