you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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