My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I will be naked everywhere
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
