butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
