Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
