Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
