i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
