I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
