Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
