you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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