shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
