I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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