and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
