Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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