Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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