Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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