woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
