whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
