So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just gift wrapped bread.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
