A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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