I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
