she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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