omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
