She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
